Saturday, 1 September 2012

The Crieff Highland Games

                                                      The Crieff Highland Games

                                                      21st August 2012

                                              written by Antoniete Mitchell

We went to the Crieff Highland Games two days ago! We travelled on the bus. It was very busy at the Highland Games. Many people were there from many different countries. There was a slopeful of people. We could see a spot in the crowd, smack in the middle!

Oooh! The big men were doing the heavy weights! At the moment they were tossing a stick with a big heavy metal ball on the end.. An Englishman was the best at the heavy weights. We heard a sudden scream behind us. Oooh dear, poor guy. He got stung by a wasp. I’ve never gotten stung before. And I never intend to either. It would hurt. Mum gave the mother some aloe vera soothe. He felt much better. After that every time I saw a wasp, I showed it Mum’s thong and they flew off.

Now the running races are on. For the boys – youth my age. There was only one girl in it named Eva. “Go!” Off they went. Eva won! That means Eva gets to go in the final at the very end. Now it was the cyclists go. I could see that the guy in the red used to be a great Olympian in the past, because guess what, he won every cycle race there!

Phew! There were some young people smoking around us and we moved to watch the Scottish Highland Dancing. We got a good spot, smack  on the side. The older girls just finished their dance. The younger kids are next. There was a little laddie in this one! Ooh, this will be interesting. The piper started playing. They all bowed except for the little laddie. Obviously the boys in the highland dancing don’t bow. They just stand still looking in the distance. The girls started dancing. Maybe the laddie has only one part to do. Oh no! He’s forgotten what to do! No he hasn’t. He’s daydreaming, in another world, a far away land, where pirate ships fly. Ziiiippp! He looked back down. The competition was almost over! He flapped his arms in frustration trying hard not to do the Rumpelstiltskin dance. He finished the dance. “Eeeeee yaah!” he grumbled pounding his feet against the ground. We left because we really didn’t want to watch the Rumpelstiltskin dance. I think I’d be more interested in Highland Dancing.

Hmmm. Not so many pins on the Australian map.  More in Europe and France. Oh yes, and America. We got our photo taken of us pinning our pin onto the Australian map. We also put our pin on the Philippine map. We were the only ones from the Philippines.

Mum and Mhikaela  walked back to the spot in the middle of the slope, disappearing with the crowd. Mum let me watch youths on the sickening rides. It was funny. The boys were actually screaming louder than the girls!
Hee! Hee! Hee! Swish.  “Aargh!” Another drop. Swish. Pop. “Aargh!” They jerked to a stop and tumbled down the stairs to the next ride.

Now the tug o’ war was on. Men in red tops, the other side green tops. They had metal on their heels like tap shoes. They dug in their heels, so now we know what it means. You get it? The meaning – she/he dug in her heels. The red team won twice.

The kilt shop was next. Dad was interested in the different tartans. I loved looking at the highland dancing shoes. They were very beautiful. They had laces. They were like my ballet shoes. Except they were black like boys ballet shoes. Mum bought me a pair for only  four pounds. Mhikaela got a china doll for only three pounds! Good bargain!


After that we watched the bands march in. In, in the rain! There were about ten different bands. Probably 20 in each. Children my age were in there, playing instruments like bagpipes and drums. The screaming from the rides was never ending until the ride was finished. The bands marched around the arena and saluted an old man from the local community. When they marched passed us it was very loud. They made their music evn louder – pipers blowing their pipes as hard as they could, drums being struck even louder when they went passed the rides blocking out all the screaming.

Uh-oh. Motorbikes are coming in. It’s raining too. Very muddy. The bikes roared in. Everybody seemed to like watching the motorbikes. We met an Australian woman from Melbourne. Mum and her were talking and watching in amazement as the bikes flew in the air and landed on the slippery rubber slope. But I knew that they wouldn’t fall because they wouldn’t do the bikes if it wasn’t safe. They make it safe. Even though it was safe, it was still scary watching them leap in the air then land on the slope. We went before the bikes jumped over the old man from the local community.

After we were out the door, we just missed hearing the bikes rev up to do a wheelie. Two Filipinas were sitting in the window of their flat watching the show. We waved at each other. It was funny. We got to the bus stop. When we got home I fed Fiona the horse next door with a carrot, and went straight to bed.

What a marvellous day!




Marching band


Judging the bands

  

Sunday, 29 July 2012

After Barcelona...Italia


                                    After Barcelona……….

I’m going to attempt a brief travelogue from memory, so that should be an interesting assignment for me.  I have kept a daily diary mind you, but that’s for another time and place.

We finally left our campsite in Mataro, the sunshine and sea air, having come for 3 days and stayed 13. Our interests were ignited for more of Spain, but not now. We wanted to get across the Riviera as swiftly as possible, still smarting from our previous weeks in France, which Paull has described in some fair detail.
We opted for the motorways, being the fastest and smoothest way forward, and despite being the most expensive…it seemed worth it!   I think we paid 50 Euros a day for the privilege.  Halfway point of stopover was Arles.  Arrived in the late afternoon to the riverside port section, utilising the French “aire” parking….designated parking places for motorhomes, often with some facilities from water, toilets, grey water disposal, toilet disposal and sometimes electricity hook-up.  And sometimes nothing.  Arles offered us the latter.  We parked besides 3 other campervans facing the river.  Paull unhitched the bicycles so we could have a quick investigation of the town……I recall we found a supermarket for some supplies and one of it’s aisles had a honey jar broken in it which hadn’t been cleaned up, and sticky black  footprints were being tramped in all directions.
Dropping the food back at the van, we then headed up along the riverside, swerving to avoid the many deposits of dog poo littering the pavement.  We ended up in a suburb where some youths were exerting their bravado doing skids and revs in their small cars, and then had to push the bikes down a tree-lined path that was glittering with broken glass, for fear of a puncture should we apply any weight to the trusty steeds.  That was enough of a first look at Arles….home to Herman (our van) for some dinner.  I’m sure we had a splendid repast, most probably having purchased some chocolate mousse from the refrigerator section of the supermarket.  Paull had noticed by this time that some drug-dealing was being conducted at the other end of the carpark with youngsters operating a courier service on their pushbikes.  Another man had been seen having a close look at the parked ‘vans’, so our bikes were securely locked into place.   It wasn’t the most relaxed of places to spend the night……but we arose next morning early and took off on foot this time to have a look at the ancient amphitheatre in town…which was clearly falling apart and scaffolding was being erected for renovations.  Entered a small café and partook of a last coffee and croissant, the girls no doubt enjoying a rich hot chocolate…then over and out of Arles, onto the motorways again and headed for the Italian border.

Can’t remember much of the road trip, just seeing the Riviera towns pass by, all very busy and densely packed onto the coastline.  What I do remember is the change as we passed into the mountains on the Italian border coastline….and the TUNNELS!  Astonishing in their engineering and quantity. It was difficult driving for Paull, as we only ever had 2 lanes and the flow of traffic was very fast and the tunnels looked narrow!  The motorway pierced mountain after mountain, high above the coastal villages and towns. The road via the coast though no doubt very scenic was as circuitous as you can imagine, and I recall when programming “Jane” the GPS wonderwoman, the difference in taking the motorway as compared to the coast road was about 7 hours longer if you went via the coast. The other sight worth noting at this point aside from the tunnels was the market gardens, olives groves and green houses that covered virtually every bit of mountainous terrain as far as the eye could see.  This was definitely Italy, and the Italians green thumb a cultural landmark that continued to be evident in many ways, in all the regions we visited.  I don’t know how much of this ‘tunnel vision’ the girls recall as methinks they slept a lot of this time away.
We stopped at an Italian “aire’, well “sosta” as they say in italiano….but it was right on the sea in a crowded carpark full of factory workers cars…the end of day whistle blew and out all the men poured and emptied the carpark as quick as you like….but it didn’t look like the greatest stopover, so we headed on a short distance to another ‘sosta’……a simple paddock/carpark in a small seaside town called Spotomo.
Keen to get our first whiff of Italian life, we rode our bikes into the town, and enjoyed our first conversation with the Italian on the till of the supermarket.
An Indian man on a bicycle rode by the van in the morning to collect the small council fee for the ‘sosta’ and soon after we headed east to destination Pisa.  The thing I remember along that piece of road, was sighting the hills on our left all cut back and stripped to white, wondering about that, then noticing all along the highway large yards brimming with big slabs of rectangular stone…then we saw the town sign….Carrara…….ahh…the marble of Michelangelo

Before too long we were approaching Pisa, scheduled by Jane for another ‘sosta’, if only to get our bearings…this one was in a huge supermarket carpark full of African vendors trying to offload absolute junk.  Onward ho.  We espied a camping sign, followed it and landed in a good campsite on the outskirts of Pisa, with the Leaning Tower popping it’s head just in view.  It was a green, grassy and leafy few acres that felt peaceful. It was hot and the swimming pool had opened only yesterday, and we even met another Sydney family (mum, dad and 2 girls of same age as our own) also in a campervan doing a similar trip but in a shorter timeframe)….Both sets of girls were somewhat starved of interactions with other children, so lapped up the time we had there together, especially by the pool, as did us parents who hadn’t really met any other ‘aussies’ and the cultural ease and exchange was refreshing.
We did cycle to see the Tower early the next morning, and it was leaning very precariously to my eye, and all the tourists were getting that photo shot done with them holding out the arm to look as though they were supporting the Tower. We did eat at a pizzeria one night, down a little alleyway and the pizza was a lot of bread and a little filling, and we did then get lost on our bikes trying to ride home, only to discover the real grand hub of Pisa on the river, tracked our way back to where we had come from (the pizzeria), tried again, went down one way streets the wrong way without lighting nor helmets (though it didn’t seem to matter that much in Italy) back through the underpass that was terribly noisy with fast cars before Mhikky found it all too much (and it was 9.30pm by now) and she rode home crying  with fatigue.

Before leaving Pisa Paull had to find a gas bottle dealer (the continuation of the famous gas bottle fiasco of Europe) which he did manage over a 2 hour period, with us parked in a very hot carpark. (Remember how we had to get a gas bottle in France, which wasn’t straight forward, and then which couldn’t be filled up again outside of France, hence the Italian bottle next…all with different connections of course…)

Onto Sienna.  Found another campsite there…also expensive like the Pisa one (twice as much as others). It was very hot in Sienna and the pool wasn’t yet open to enjoy, but it was a very shaded mature tree campsite.  It was a very beautiful city anyway, and we arrived off the bus into a square full of flowers on sale for Saturday market….and the colour, variety and presentation of the plants had that Italian twist of style that is again a cultural fact. The town was of course cobbled, ancient, decorative and unique.  The lack of public toilets was an ongoing difficulty that was becoming the norm across Europe….we did find some off the main square, a lucrative business indeed at 50c a pop, run by a man and deftly conducted by his son who was forceful and pedantic, though clearly good at his job. (Organising wi-fi was another heroic feat which Paull managed in Sienna, again not a straightforward business….but gratefully accomplished none-the-less. The identical problem to that identified in France yet solved in less than a minute!

Next stop Assisi near Perugia.  Paull had a friend there whose address we had used to send schoolwork to from Sydney. Another fiasco therein…..the Italian postal service (customs department) had held back the 3 parcels so we had to enter into an email discussion that caused them to be released but not at the same time…complications. To pass the time we camped at the lovely Lago Trasimeno nearby to Perugia, beside an ancient town on a hill called Castiglione. Here we could cycle at long last, around the lake through natural bushland and around the town in general.  We stayed there at least 5 days, despite the rain coming and going. A late night Saturday town festival was another feature with rockbands, drumming bands, jazz bands and traditional musicians and dancers…and a lot of people.   The Italian produce of the town was exceptionally delicious as you might imagine…..gorgeous olive oils, various salamis and cheeses of lovely taste and quality.   It must have been about now we discovered the cherry season to be in full swing….my favourite fruit……and from then on I was able to feast upon delicious and juicy dark red cherries in every region.   And the cappuccinos across Italy were worth the wait….after 2 months in the Philippines where Nescafe 3 in 1 was all the go, and England has failed to understand the art of coffee…here we were in the coffee centre of the planet!  At 1 Euro a cup too….shame on the Australian counterpart where it is triple that!

Well we returned to Perugia on and off to collect the school work from Paull’s old friend there. I had lived in Perugia in 1977 for 3 months with a girlfriend….it was of course more sprawling these days, but not much can change around the Centro, and it hadn’t…no room to move.  The most noticeable change was me, thankfully, as I recalled the many experiences of the time, and the next visit there in 1982 with Mum when I was at a height of confusion, arrogance and selfishness…..the details too horrible to give airspace too, but thankfully and mercifully have been dealt with by the grace of God.  It was a good reminder of how things do move on.

Next stop Roma down south a bit. Landed in a peaceful campsite on a river. It was hot and the pool was open here. We were able to catch the train into Rome….but not too often, as it was a bit shabby, and the tourist throngs hardly appealing.  We took the girls to see the Vatican City, couldn’t go in as there was a Mass on, were astounded by the hordes of hawkers trying to get you to sign up for a tour, some very aggressively.  Netty’s highlight there was meeting another Filipino man. We headed outta there quicksmart, caught a train to a quiet suburb and found a good lunchtime eatery for Italians, and next door a fresh gelateria with marvellous gelato.
Another trip into Roma we saw the Colosseum, and notably the lewd Italians dressed up in Roman soldiers garb seeking money for the privilege of being photographed in their presence. Several gapped tooth, tattooed and hungover looking centurions were calling suggestively after attractive women, smacking their lips before assailing the next potential customer. Doubtless their counterparts of 2,000 years ago were little different!  We took the girls into a 3D place where they could experience ancient Rome in an interactive,hands-on, digital and experiential set-up.
I should mention some of the lovely countryside we drove through…vineyards, crops and the endless hilltop towns perched so high, evidence of the need to build protected towns beyond the reach of marauding armies.

We had been having some regular family meltdowns since having arrived in Europe, a combination of a lot of factors, such as :
·      spending 24 hours every day with your family in a very small metal box
·       like having to teach your children and the natural resistance they have to that, especially in the circumstances of being all around the world in very lovely places full of new sounds, sights, smells!
·      Like reflecting upon your own life with some stark reminders of the bad choices you made in the same places 30 years before.
·       Like just feeling homesick.
·      Like not having the usual diversions or escapes to retreat to when things go a bit pear-shaped.
We received support from friends back home …but of course there was no getting away from ourselves.  We prayed and pleaded with God on many an occasion for help. The good news for those who shared our burdens is that the meltdowns seem to have subsided, as the realisation dawned somewhere along the way, that there was a remedy available to us. Simply forgiving one another for all our irritations and foolishnesses and bad moods and all that “stuff’ that families engage in.  Initially hard to swallow but it always worked, and  then we could all get on with enjoying ourselves and surroundings afresh.  Sweet relief!

After Roma, we drove across Italy to the East side on the Adriatic coast. We headed to a small town called Lido del Sole in Puglia, but as we approached it emanated a strange aura….like a ghost town……sort of empty and waiting for people to arrive.  It was also shabby.  Well, there we were, tired after along drive, and decided we had better stay.  The campsite was in fact ‘getting ready’ for action, scheduled we were told in about 2 weeks hence. One side of the campsite would be filled with Croatians, the other full of Italians.  It was quite a peaceful place as it turned out and I think we stayed there 3 nights. As far as the beach was concerned - to Australians used to pristine expanses of clean white sands and the like for beaches, this one had rubbish washed up on it, the sands were grey, and when we came back from our stroll along the beach we had black oil spots on our soles, which took a good deal of serious soapy scrubbing to clear.
The first whole day there, we got a lift to the nearby town called Rodi de Gargano, which was our first real taste of Southern Italy, where the people were traditional in their ways and very warm in their interactions.  Elderly men walked the Centro dressed in their better clothes.  The butcher spent some time telling us the attributes of various cuts of meat, how you cook them etc.  We really enjoyed our morning in that town, with swallows darting in and about the rooves of the buildings.  We also discovered a delicious new fruit called the ‘nespolo’ which I must remember to enquire of Katoomba’s Mr Todarello Fruiterer extraordinaire if it is grown in Australia, and if not why not!

Time to head north again, so off we went to Guilianova, one of many seaside resorts between Pescara and Ancona.  There appeared to be a 40 km strip along the beach, with a cycle way (hallelujah) connecting the lot.  The beach had a continuum of deckchairs for as far as the eye could see and all the accompanying bars, volleyball courts, crèches, entertainment arenas and such holiday activities. It was a very well run campsite with all the trimmings. It boasted a lovely large swimming pool, crystal clear and with a small waterslide that never ceased to attract most children and a good handful of adults to boot! The weather was warm if not hot so we settled in, beside Nederland’s caravan neighbours, who like most Dutch people we’d met and were very friendly and interactive. The most memorable aspect to this place for the girls would have to have been the “Glu Team” – 2 men and 2 women who were in charge of the holiday entertainment for the coming summer months.  Such festivities were clearly a standard offering for the Italian beach summer holidays.  They were on deck 6 days a week from dawn to midnight, starting the days on the beach with body stretches for any interested takers with Enya music lilting on the sea breeze to accompany us…after that there were various activities for children of all ages, aqua aerobics in the Adriatic….a very still and shallow sea. I couldn’t keep track of all they had on offer, but at 9pm each night it all took off again with gusto for the evening extravaganza beginning with “Baby Dances” (At 9pm!), then some hour or so of stage presentation of skits, songs and audience participation….and by 11pm it was time for anyone to disco together to very loud music. That first night caused us to realise that setting up our Herman so close to the beach and entertainment area meant no peace and quiet until midnight every night.  After about 6 nights we packed up to travel further north, as you can only put up with so much ‘noise’.

We were bound for Venezia. We stayed that night in another sosta in a small town called Mesolo, parked beside a golden field of ripe wheat.  It was a surprising little town, with yet another small town configuration differing from any other we’d seen…all terribly old, cobbled and beautiful. The café bars are always open first thing in the mornings, so we enjoyed the Italian start to the day, coffee and pastry.    It wasn’t too far to our chosen campsite east of Venice, a town called Jesolo, a campsite called Waikiki.  It turned out that east of Venice was another monumental tourist strip along the coast, and at the camp we had chosen it was full of Germans from Bavaria who were having school holidays.   We headed to the beach the next day and stood on it rather dumbstruck by the scene.  It was very crowded with families, people with very white skin were sunbaking themselves into the land of skin cancer without a care in the world. They nonchalantly exposed vast swathes of reddened flesh, only to return day after day for more of the same.  Venice is the closest seacoast to southern Germany, and people were thrilling to escape a long cold winter and bask in Italy’s warmth.  Indian hawkers walked the sands offering colourful towels, kites, hair plaiting, massage, plastic jewels.  All manner of body shape was out there with a lack of self-consciousness that was refreshing.

The Waikiki was a large acreage of pine forest….but here again, the Italians green thumb has enabled them to adapt and prune the pine in such a way that they look like giant elegant bonsai en masse.

Netty had her 12th birthday here, and we celebrated by eating out at a trattoria specialising in seafoods.  The girls chose something fitting their age like gnocchi and chips! But the parents feasted on a 7 course banquet (only 25 Euro per head) which was all different seafoods cooked with the skill of Italians who know everything about how to make simple food absolutely delectable.   Being the cook in our family, and being pretty good at it, this meal was a wonderful gift to me, one not to be forgotten, or repeated no doubt.

We did venture by public transport into Venice one day. It took us 2 hours each way, bus, bus, boat. We disembarked near the Piazza San Marco which meant with seemingly every other tourist bound for Venice.  It was more crowded than usual because there was a large and important parade of various branches of the Italian marine regiments.  We saw some immaculately tailored uniforms with a startling array of medals, epaulettes, ornamental swords, tassled head dresses as well as parade ground marching.  We heard that the President of the Republic had been the guest of honour.
The narrow winding streets were crowded with tourists, as were the narrow winding canals packed with gondolas.  The shops were brimming with fabulous glassware, jewellery, leather goods, decorative masks, marionettes , hats and costumes….so much so that it was a bit repellent.  Paull had warned me that Venice was groaning under the pressures of relentless tourism and the consequent overcrowding.  I experienced it first hand trying to order a snack, where I was ignored while local patrons were served during the lunch hour rush.
A couple of hours was as much as we could bear, so we found our way back to the wharf and were very relieved to depart!

There ends 5 weeks in Italy. A great time had by all.

Parked up in Arles

Lago Trasimeno

Fountain Roma



Roman matrons


Street eatery Roma

Flower market Siena

Plaza San Marco Venice

Netty is 12

Red man, sand model and Adriatic, Jesolo

Friday, 15 June 2012

Barcelona with a ‘th’.


­­                                    
It’s said that the reason many Spanish speakers pronounce their native tongue with a noticeable lisp is that a one-time Spanish royal was afflicted with a chronic lisp, so rather than correct His Excellency, the entire court and eventually the entire country lisped in sympathy. While this may be nothing more than an enduring myth, there must be a kernel of authenticity about it, if our experiences in Barcelona are anything to go by…

Whilst I’ve previously mentioned the politeness we experienced in the Philippines, during our visit to Spain, it soon became evident to us that their one time Spanish colonisers also consider mutual respect and compassion to be essential social graces. Although a quick gallop through the Spanish history of the Philippines will establish that while the colonials treated each other reverently, Filipinos were not afforded the same courtesy. Sadly the behaviour of all colonial powers towards those whom they colonise has been equally and appallingly uniform.

The sight of the snow capped Pyrenees to our west as we headed south from France both explained the recent and persistent wind-driven chill factor and marked a new stage in our European adventure. Originally hoping to visit Central and Southern Spain, we’d already trimmed our agenda to Catalania, specifically Barcelona.

We stayed in a campsite, which was walking/cycling distance from the small coastal town of Mataró. The staff (proficient in eight languages), were cheerful, informative and helpful and although very reasonably priced, the facilities were first-rate – offering showers, a café, supermarket, affordable wifi and a free shuttle bus into Barcelona and Mataró. Sounding seriously like a sponsored promotion at this point? What else can I say, “We came for three days and stayed two weeks”.

Mataró, a short bike ride away, was a low-key introduction to a Spanish town. Outside the campsite we ducked under a low passageway below the main road to emerge beside the sea, where three fashionably pierced and attired young women assisted the girls to cart their bikes up to a track - which followed the rail-line into town. Calling it a cycleway would have been misleading (indeed the staff were careful to say that it was possible to ride or walk). We alternately rode and pushed the bikes along the narrow trail, which offered views of the beach, lonely nude bathers and redundant gun emplacements sidling into the sea, until we arrived at Mataró beach.

Although the track may eventually become a cycleway, the fact that people make regular use of it, is worthy of comment. In Australia, the same area would have been heavily fenced, yet here we were ambling along metres from the railway track and hoving-to whenever a train clattered noisily past. My guess is that if the local authorities don’t admit to its existence, they can’t be held accountable if someone has an unfortunate incident with a train, but equally they can’t be expected to improve or maintain it, because it doesn’t exist…   

As cycling had sharpened our appetite, we decided to investigate an eatery. Shackling the bicycles we ventured upwards, via narrow streets which blurred the distinction between pedestrian and carriageway, threading their way between towering apartment buildings over shops and offices until stumbling upon a central piazza. Marketeers were in the process of packing up their stalls as we hastily bought some meat, cheese, olives, vegetables and fruit. An impromptu mime show was performed by the butcher, when asked what type of meat was in the sausages – pork as it turned out - though he was jeered, albeit good-naturedly, by his fellow stallholders. 

Markets are traditionally a good location for hearty and reasonably priced fodder, so we scanned the surrounding streets. The most promising appeared to be a modest looking cantina, but we were unable to understand the menu. No problem – a young man exiting offered to translate –we evidently looked hungry and puzzled. It was a set menu offering choices over three courses. We were soon ensconced at a small table with bench-seats surrounded by locals in passionate conversation over a dazzling array of dishes and empty glasses. A tasty soup, homemade hummus or pasta, fish or goulash bread, and fruit served with chocolate and strong coffee, were soon gastronomic history to the delight of our smiling hostess.

Although we encountered heavy homeward bound traffic, we did make swifter progress along the roadway (we opted to forgo the ‘cycleway’ in consideration of the bicycles apropos our increased burdens) - though the carriageway was quite narrow at intervals - making it a chastening experience. Arriving safely home, after a mass u-turn on the boulevard afforded by a fleeting break in the traffic, we reserved seats for the following day and our first visit to Barcelona.

One gets the feeling as you approach most big cities, that you’re circling the vortex; those overwhelming crowds, smells, noise, incessant movement and the ‘aarrgghh’ factor (when you wonder why on earth you ever came). Arriving in a complimentary, air-con coach with a gaggle of similarly primed international tourists certainly cushioned the landing – but I have to say that Barcelona was a very welcoming and relaxing city to visit.

We initially arrived just prior to siesta – so the streets were thinning as the locals meandered off home, or into eating establishments for lunch. We found something that day down a side street – a foodies chain store. For a set price you take a plate, make your own salad, with soup-of-the-day, bread and a drink. Second course was a choice from the grill, pizza or baked meats and vege. However it was the desert bar, for anyone not already sated, which had the girls’ eyes popping out of their heads.

During our postprandial wanderings, we observed that people were very casually dressed and ambled rather than marched, as we visited a few shoe shops (Heather and the girls being avid admirers of Spanish footwear) and took-in the sights. At this point we detoured onto La Rambla – a deeply shaded expanse of walkway lined with restaurants, cafes, gelatarias, tourist stalls, street performers, artists and touts stretching from the Plaza Catalunia to the docks over a kilometre away. Always teaming with people – yet no-one going anywhere in particular. We joined the throng.

Having just visited Venezia (Venice), I can appreciate the airy-open planning of Barcelona city. Venezia on the other hand has a more claustrophobic feel – owing to its antiquity; as a pedestrian, one is directed through the maze of streets and canals, shunted and corralled rather than meandering at will. Barcelona has crowds but the design of buildings, plazas, walking and cycle paths, parks and gardens by the city planners demonstrates concern for providing social, visual and sensory amenity for both visitors and locals. For example, a feature noticeable throughout Barcelona is the chamfered corners of buildings, which enclose an intersection or plaza in order to maximize lines of sight, allowing light into public spaces and encouraging the growth of street plantings. Main arterial streets are shaded by mature trees and remarkably wide to provide access to motor vehicles, pedestrians cyclists and light rail.

The largest streets have vast pedestrian and cycling areas directly up the tree-lined median section. Smaller roads have wide footpaths and cycle-ways at road-level protected by large rubber mouldings imbedded in the roadway. Cyclists, cars and pedestrians each have their own traffic control systems. Although there are no buttons to press to cross the road, the lights changed regularly and provide very generous crossing intervals (perhaps out of consideration of the many elderly residents). The green man certainly rules!

Outside of the Philippines, I haven’t seen such devoted motorcycle users. Although the bicycle is far and away the most popular two-wheeled transport, the scooter is it’s closest motorized rival. Two-wheelers can be and are parked anywhere, including indoors! Hence streets are lined with vast arrays of bicycles, scooters and motorcycles. The fleet of motorcycles tends to be older – including some veteran and vintage machines obviously still enjoying active service. As there are no helmet laws restricting those who use them, the public bicycle facilities here are heavily subscribed. All manner of locals, provided they have a swipe card can take a bike off one of the many racks around the city and pedal to their destination. The bikes are naturally of a robust and all-weather design with carry basket and rack, mudguards and lights – simply adjust the seat height and ride…

Over the twelve days we made multiple excursions into Barcelona and Mataró, each time discovering new delights and marvelling at the warm reception afforded us by our Spanish hosts. We caught a flamenco show, observed a variety of street performers (generally outlandishly dressed with faces painted to match their costume, standing stock-still upon a podium until a passerby threw a donation into the hat, whereupon they acted out brief cameo before inviting the punter to pose with them for a photo), visited an evangelical Christian church, the Sagrada Familia, other Gaudi buildings and took a guided tour-bus deco around the city.

On Tuesday May 1st we noticed decorative floats, people dressed in variations of red, heard drums and whistles to herald Barcelona’s May Day manifestation. We soon realized that the Spanish leftists take their heritage very seriously, as some streets became wall-to-wall placards and vocal demonstrators. Though there was no sign of the traditionally heavy police presence, until we took a side street to avoid the crush. Parked up in a quiet plaza were heavily armed and seriously pumped riot police in armoured troop carriers. Their agitation was evident as they took turns to nip out of their assigned vehicle for a quick puff. Stale sweat, machismo and tension exuded from the troop carriers, which ominously had their motors running, despite the obvious lack of emergency.

I recalled an earlier visit to Barcelona in 1979. From Australia I’d lodged an application for entry to a South London art-school (which subsequently failed), meanwhile I’d been working in a local café and the Royal Free Hospital in Hampstead as a wardsman. Rather than succumb to despondency I’d cycled through France until meeting-up with Andy, a friend from London, in Barcelona. In the Plaza de Catalunia, we’d noticed several busloads of police arrive before chatting cheerfully as they donned their paramilitary clothing (a parade perhaps?). Being young and footloose we naturally drifted to one of the plaza bars off La Rambla, which sold super-sized Spanish beer intending to drink very slowly to savour the experience (outdoor-seated bar prices in Spain are expensive).

In the farthest corner of the plaza there was a mild disturbance; raised voices (football fans?), the sauntering Saturday afternoon parade broke into a trot before a loud shot launched pandemonium. Suddenly panicked people spilled into the plaza while diners rose from their tables with drinks spilling and waiters scurrying to herd their patrons indoors.  For two uncomprehending, out-of-town loafers the prospect of bulk free beer was too much to pass up and so we imbibed greedily…

I was just putting another cold draught to my lips when a small car exploded with a metallic percussion and fountains of flying glass. Either live ammunition or close-range volleys rubber bullets served as a warning to anyone not already sheltered indoors, to clear the area. A phalanx of helmeted riot police armed with shotgun-like weapons or truncheons jogged jauntily into the plaza before turning their truncheons on any hapless bystanders. Grabbing backpacks, we made a bee-line for the nearest door. Most bars however already resembled a phone-booth packing exercise for the Guiness Book of Records. Finding a slightly less crowded bar I held open the door for an elderly woman who gratefully sidled just as a hail of blows fell about by back, shoulders and head. Turning to the perpetrator I remonstrated briefly with a shiny visor and helmet. Quickly realizing my folly I immobilized the truncheon by holding the business end firmly, until I was safely inside the bar.     

We were reliably informed that ‘manifestations’ occurred in Barcelona every Saturday afternoon - a kind of extreme urban sport. As I later observed, some demonstrators were armed with slingshots while others threw whatever was at hand at the riot police who retaliated with rubber bullets and truncheon charges. The rubber bullet shotgun makes a throaty bang as the projectile leaves the barrel spiralling drunkenly towards its target, eventually skidding and slewing along the ground. Sadly upon returning to the Royal Free Hospital back in London, I was met by a Spanish colleague – minus his right eye – having been struck in the face by a rubber bullet whilst leaving a family dinner (coincidentally, on the very same day we’d witnessed).  

Fortunately, this May Day the leash was on and the day passed without serious incident – though I did video some rock ’n roll leftists singing and dancing on the back of a flatbed truck. Things are looking up - socialism was a rather more serious, bookish affair in my day, though everyone still loved a good demonstration...

Our girls were rather taken with the exploits of some Spanish boys staying onsite, one being dubbed ‘Bonds’ after dropping his pants to show his undies as a form of greeting. Perhaps he’s an immature adherent to the ‘underwear-on-parade’ fashion, which has lately become such a widespread phenomenon, Spain being no exception. Young men wear their jeans pulled so low that the crutch is virtually between the knees, the waistline constricts the buttocks giving the wearer a simian gait, whilst a full hand-span of underwear lolls suggestively over the top (though suggestive of lapses in hygiene, rather than anything raunchy).

The girls fed some overindulged farm-animals, rode their bikes, played on the toddler equipment, while adults lolled in deck chairs, read, grilled meat on a charcoal barbeque, or snoozed in the heat of the midday sun. Sadly, for Australian tourists without a special visa, visits to the Schengen countries in Europe are limited to three months – so all too soon it was time to move on – to Italy via Southern France. Catalunia isn’t Spain, but the foretaste was certainly very appetizing. 


                                                      Girls and Gaudi
                                                       Before Flamenco.
                                         After Flamenco
                                         Street performer
                                         Two-wheeler heaven
                                         Vintage Montessa

Thursday, 31 May 2012

Jonah and the Tissue Box


I remember as a child, hearing the tale of Jonah and the Whale, marveling at what a remarkable story of survival it seemed to relate. Swallowed by a whale…three whole days in the belly of the beast…spewed-up onto a beach and living to tell the tale…wow! Little did I realize that the day would come when, I would be (metaphorically speaking) swallowed by a whale named Herman and live to tell the tale…

It all began about fifty years ago, during my childhood…about five years ago when I initially planned the current excursion to Europe…and then again about six weeks ago, feeling miserable and meaningless in a French campsite, wondering what on earth we’d gotten ourselves into. Where to begin? Naturally I’ll start in the middle, get to the end and go back to the beginning like all modern storytellers….

Five years ago the idea of signing-up to the Dept. of Education’s Deferred Salary Scheme sounded hugely attractive. In fact it’s been one of the best decisions of my life. The Department holds back 20% of one’s wage for four years, paying you out the accrued 80% wage during the fifth year - not to come to work. Certainly the light at the end of the tunnel helped my flagging motivation whenever the going became tough. With a year left to serve, I decided to drop out of teaching for a variety of reasons I won’t bore myself with here, but continued to pay into the Scheme until July 2011.

Many things happen in that final year (2011). I became a born-again Christian (the whole works – baptized in the river, joined bible-study and fronting up at church), became a casual teacher, took over my mother’s care (packing up her house and moving her into our home), had some long-distance motorcycle/camping journeys and undertook some long-awaited home maintenance projects. 2012 however always remained the year when the family was going to put everything else aside and trundle off to the Philippines for two months and then to Europe for a further eight months.

As the anticipated departure date inevitably loomed larger, the doubts began – “After all I’m only working part-time now, isn’t it a waste of money…it’s a very long trip…disrupting the girls’ schooling…what’s the point?” Eventually, after my mum was rehoused under the divided care of my two brothers in Tasmania and a young couple had agreed to rent the house and care for our cat, Merv, we were ready (notice I’ve skipped the months of research, re-organisation, careful planning and booking).

Was it all going to be an exercise in vacuous self-indulgence, like the extended remix of yet another singing mannequin’s latest hit? As each friend was quizzed about the merits of the undertaking and whether it represented a scandalous waste of resources – the response remained the same. “Go forth – if it all goes pear-shaped – come back. It’s a once in a lifetime opportunity. The girls will never forget it.” Still apprehensive about the potential folly of it all, we departed.

The value and timing of the Philippines leg of the journey was never at issue. The litmus test was always going to be the European leg and more specifically, living and traveling in a campervan. Despite a hiccup involving the forces of darkness (our bank), purchase of the van went remarkably smoothly. Within a week of our arrival in the Olde Dart, we were trundling down the road in Herman the German, a 1993 Hymer camper conversion on a Fiat Ducato light-truck body. Yet two weeks later, Herman had been dubbed ‘The Mobile Tissue Box’ and there were beaucoup tears before bedtime. So where did it go so horribly wrong? Perhaps we should consider the setting...

Imagine your house is being seriously renovated. Temporarily, each member of the family must restrict themselves to whatever will fit into a small cupboard drawer, before the whole family moves into the storage pantry next to the laundry (sorry kids, no TV). The second-toilet off the laundry is available, but must double as a shower and airing cupboard. A kitchen sink and stove-top cooker are shoehorned in along with a table, which conveniently converts into a double bed, two bench seats for added comfort and bunks. Oh, did I mention that the yard has been dug-up? So visiting friends/family, in fact any contact with your normal life is off limits for the time being. The mobile-phone rings – the good news is that you’re going to end up with a great house, the bad news is that the builder fell off the roof of his last renovation and the temporary arrangement will have to last for six months.

A friend from the Philippines had a different perspective. “Yeah - that describes our whole house growing up! You got to know each other pretty well and you just had to learn to live with it…” In fact, for we citizens of Minority World, such conditions beggar belief. While for the vast bulk of the earth’s human inhabitants (Majority World – aka Third World) it represents situation normal. At this point I consider changing the blog’s title to ‘Rich Kid has Hissy-fit over Tissue Box’, but reflect that I’ll be cast in a very poor light indeed… I digress.  


So, apart from the obvious discomforts to the average westerner afforded by our circumstances, I should mention the daily teaching regime (the eldest has been diagnosed with measles, followed by chicken-pox and headlice so you can’ t get the kids to school until September sometime. The teacher has kindly dropped off enough work for the next two to three months. Naturally the children are grizzling about missing their friends, but no-one’s allowed out of the house. Welcome to the belly of the whale!

Who needs to pay exorbitant rates for a shrink? All manner of deep-seated psychological issues are soon bubbling to the surface adding a new ingredient to the mix. Naturally we don’t book tantrum appointments, so the day comes when two members of the family experience a simultaneous, Fukushima style melt-down. The tissue-box has become a whale and three hours later the erstwhile head of the family is vomited onto an unsuspecting Frenchman.

Back to the beginning of the story and mention of the biblical prophet Jonah:

‘God says to Jonah – “Get up and go to the great city of Nineveh. Announce my judgement against it because I’ve seen how wicked its people are”.
But Jonah got up and went in the opposite direction…by sailing to Tarshish.’ (Wouldn’t you? The population of Nineveh – a city so large that it took three days to see it all - was a heaving 120,000 souls, fond of debauchery and violence). I’m reminded of Bob Dylan’s opening lines to Highway 61 Revisited:
‘God said to Abraham, “Kill me a son.”
Abe said, “Man you must be puttin’ me on.”


But God doesn’t give up on Jonah. Instead he sends a tempest. The terrified crew throw their cargo overboard, before they discover Jonah’s starring role in their imminent demise. Jonah asks to be thrown overboard, whereupon the storm ceases, the crew are converted on the spot and God arranges for him to be swallow by a great fish. It’s there, in the belly of the whale, that Jonah decides to repent, and follow God’s will. Jonah cracked after only three days, whereas we romped ahead at three weeks, (then again we could see out the windows and although the sink lets out some funny smells at times whilst driving, Herman wasn’t half-full of rotting krill).

So God orders the great fish to spit Jonah out onto a beach and he trudges off to Nineveh to deliver the original message. Imagine his surprise when the Ninevites immediately adorn sackcloth and ashes and repent – Jonah’s reputation as a prophet goes on the line because God then reconsiders his wrath. Hugely miffed, Jonah sulks on a hillside still hoping to watch the fireworks. Concerned for his comfort, God arranges for a leafy plant to grow beside Jonah to ease his discomfort, but soon after commissions a worm to demolish the plant and a scorching wind to boot. The story ends with Jonah throwing another hissy-fit and wanting to die...

“Maaaate, I know just where you’re coming from…” thinks Paull.

Although Fukushima wasn’t a planned destination, it was certainly on the cards that living in such close quarters (for folk not used to such privations) was going to press a few buttons – particularly as we’d already been on the road for over two months, before we met Herman. Don’t get me wrong – traveling in a mobilehome is luxury camping – but it requires Heather and I to be; teacher, parent and friend for our girls all rolled into one, as well as love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. I’m afraid that my scorecard nudges ground level on a regular basis, causing me to feel like a creep, a rotten dad, a fake Christian or more commonly all three in succession. Heather manages a better score, but in a three-legged race like journeying around Europe together, it’s the slower runner that sets the pace…

Back in Australia, teachers are almost finished weeks of testing and are putting half-yearly reports together. Carefully choosing their words so as to use the clearest language and best possible description of each child’s learning journey over the past five and a half months. Trying to inform and not offend, to encourage yet not create false perceptions. Meanwhile the Department of Education and Communities (I think that’s their latest moniker after yet another name change) are busy sawing off the teachers’ legs above the ankle. I’m well out of the whole sorry affair.

Spending time with your family is both painful and immensely satisfying. Certainly, it far exceeds my expectations of fullfilment. I suppose that I’d imagined our odyssey in terms of observing things together and sharing in our children’s wonder at the immensity and scope of European history, where was forged, the artefacts created and the richness and diversity of contemporary societies. In fact the girls are far more likely to remember the Colosseum as the place we were headed to when we saw a cat like Merv sunning himself in a carpark with six other cats just before the train arrived.

As it transpires - the opportunity of a lifetime has actually been; the chance to participate intimately in the daily life of my family; to experience communal life with a bunch of girls (I grew up without sisters); to notice small changes in my daughters’ development towards understanding and adulthood; to notice that in growing old together with my wife – that we still love and respect each other. I wouldn’t swap it for quids… Still, I spend a lot of time reflecting on my kinship with Jonah and where the great fish is taking us.

Thirty-four years ago I came to Europe and stayed for four years. My mum bought me a small camera, from which I developed the single roll of film I’d managed to shoot, upon my return to Australia. Perhaps I’ll be more successful with a postcard:

Hi Mum,

Traveling through Europe with the family - having a whale of a time.

Your loving son,
Jonah





Thursday, 3 May 2012

Welcome to our country, as long as you’re French.



I have to say that the people whom we encountered in Northern France were very curt with us, despite our best efforts to communicate in their language. As opposed to say Filipinos, Spanish or Italians who are, in general, delighted with the most basic attempts to express oneself in their respective languages. So what’s the problem in France? Why does one get the impression that ‘La Belle Pays’ only comes back to life after you reach the exit. “Yes, count yourself lucky that I was able to understand your incomprehensibly garbled rendition of the national language and fortunate that we consented to allow you to enter the country – now run along.”

As far as I’m aware English has become a fairly major language in the world at large. It originates from the quaint, wet little island to the north of France, but still a neighbouring country. So buying a Sat –Nav in France, one might expect to find some English translation, as the packaging boasted instructions in four languages – yes that would be – Italian, Spanish, Portuguese and French.

During the eighteenth and early nineteenth centuries, French became the official diplomatic language of Western Europe, just as Ancient Greek was spoken around the Mediterranean, by the Romans. But the world has turned and French is now spoken only in a select few countries beyond the borders of France. English on the other hand is widely spoken throughout the world. Let’s face it - the French must be disappointed that their language is no longer considered important.

Perhaps the snide indifference and feigned ignorance of other languages is their collective response to the shrinking significance of the French language? Perhaps it’s a kind of 'little man syndrome' (you know, the one who’s irascible and aggressive towards others, throwing his weight around while looking for the encouragement of his fellows). To this visitor, it manifested as coldness and indifference and a conquest to insist that unadulterated French be spoken, even at the expense of their international tourist industry. To give a few examples:

·        Although English is taught in the French public school system, to refuse to speak in (zat filthy pig-latin) English.

·        At times when tourists try to communicate in French, to feign non-comprehension (Heather famously trying to order bread in a boulangerie (bread shop) in Paris to shrugs and an unwillingness to serve her).

·        Giving French-only instructions in aires, campsites and public places frequented by international tourists.

·        Shops using tills, which neither display the price for the customer to read, nor offer a receipt.

·        French internet sites which fail to offer the information in any international languages.

One remembers the French indifference to the protests of Pacific Nations and the international community to their repeated testing of nuclear weapons at Mururoa Atol.  The French had a national obsession with maintaining a nuclear arsenal whilst finding it acceptable to test their weapons in the Pacific Ocean.

One also remembers the subsequent actions of the French secret service in scuttling the flagship of the Greenpeace movement – ‘The Rainbow Warrior’ in Auckland Harbour – murdering  a member of the crew.  The lurid details of their attempts to evade detection became known to the world when they were arrested, tried and found guilty of murder. This was no ‘Victory at Entebbe’, rather a second-rate shambles in which the observations of everyday New Zealanders led to their early detection and capture.

So how can we register our latest protest to the French nation? Here are some practical suggestions for Australian tourists to follow:

·        When speaking French, use a very broad Aussie/Ocker accent with a very cheerful smile.

·        As neither toilet paper, nor soap is ever provided in the (filthy) toilet facilities – always enquire of any food purveyors or restaurant staff if they have washed their hands with soap since their last toilet visit - before ordering (ask to sniff their hands if unsure).

·        Always do the reverse of the instructions provided in French language-only sites with a cheerful and innocent disposition. For example, use plenty of newspaper after doing number twos, being sure to shake hands with any startled Frenchman as you exit.

·        When paying, always deposit a large quantity of small mixed notes and coins, which is at least two Euros short (ten Euros for larger orders), before smiling and swiftly exiting the shop.

·        Leave messages on all French-only internet sites making reference to the hopeless French secret service and their pathetic efforts to be recognized as a European nuclear super-power.

·        Don’t visit France in the first place. Go somewhere friendly – there are plenty of other places in Europe to choose from.

 Having exited France, can I say how friendly and welcoming the Spanish people are….

Aw reevwah mon-sewers ette maid-mowselles!

Paull